A silhouette of sadness
I am in love. Thinking about our days in the park with our boston terrier. I just ate a wonderful meal with you in my arms. My heart is stricken with the purest of all splendor. I awake with your hand in mine. Look in your beautiful eyes and get lost for what seems like days. The gentle pools of color are inspiring. I caress your cheek and watch as your face as it becomes reddened with a blush-filled smile, your dimples deepened. I kiss your forehead and let out a sigh of pure happiness. As I get out of the bed and put on my clothes I go out onto the balcony of our hotel suite. The sun-kissed waves slowly moving from left to right. All you hear is silence.
Unrealistic silence…
I wake up…driving. Stopped at a red light. You are in tears.
As I continue looking into your eyes I realize the lie and slander of my thoughts. Light turns green. Now I am driving, and I see a deer in front of me. I heart is given to you for protection. The world around me crumbles and you stumble away barely escaping. My legs break, and I’m left alone from the disaster. I am there waiting for help that will never come, only having thrown you out of the car seconds before the crash. Last I saw was you saying that you’ll be right back and that you love me.
As my body gets colder I realize that you were never in the car. There never was a deer. No rain or snow. No giving away my heart. You never existed to me, the way I thought in my mind. It was a lie. I am a lie. I am alone. Every time I felt the smallest sense of love, I crashed.
I hurt you. I hurt me.
And I am sorry.
